The coquis chirp their song as I get ready to munch into a homemade bowl of chicken pasta. I sift through my thoughts a lot, trying to find ones that are poignant and worth adding to a song. Songs, after all, are just ideas and stories brought to life with music.
Here are a few of the aforementioned thoughts brewing in my head now: I want to get better at trusting myself. Confidence in the things that you do, say, think is as attractive as symmetry in a face or a perfectly chiseled body. When I have that confidence (not faking it or pushing some bravado bs but really HAVE it) I'm at my best. You can't get shot down if you're always too timid to try, but also then you're not really living.
Another thought today dealt with expectation and keeping it tethered to the moors of reality. I ran 11 miles this morning, which was difficult and quite an achievement (only 6 months ago I could barely run 1 because of a nagging knee injury). Still, my first thought when I finished was “Damn, I didn't run as fast as I wanted to!”. Later we tracked vocals for a song with the band and although it was very productive, I found myself disappointed that we “only” got through one song. My expectations are flying around in the clouds. Time to catch them and get them back down.
I've found peace in the mundane. I live in a quiet neighborhood (except for the dogs & coquis) and find joy in the simple pleasures of waking up before the sun, cooking thoughtful meals, strumming some chords on Genevieve. Besides sometimes feeling the cold pangs of loneliness I'm probably more content than I've ever been. Reality can be harsh but at least it's honest. I could keep digging up thoughts but I'd better eat my dinner before it gets cold.
