I’ve been chipping away at my next release, going through each song and revising lyrics, arrangements, mixes, etc. Some days it feels like I’m fighting an invisible force, duking it out with my perfectionism & what I call my release anxiety. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to share my art, for fear of it being ridiculed, or worse being met with a “meh”.
I think all artists struggle with this feeling to some degree. Whenever my friends are showing me a new song they are working on or having me listen to their latest mix, there’s always the self-conscious explanation: “it’s not done yet”. It’s a scary thing to show what’s basically an extension of yourself to a group of people who may not give a damn.
It can feel like a curse to hold so tightly to your creative “children”, feeling like your art is full of holes still, an incomplete sham. But the flip side is that without that feeling of anxiety and self-critique we’d all be putting out mediocre garbage (many still do). When I’m in a headspace where I feel like a fraud or like my art isn’t anything special, I try to turn that on it’s head and thank myself and my inner critic for being such a stickler for quality.
As the new music model changes, I’ve decided to release my full length album as two separate EP’s online, spaced about a month apart, then to hopefully put all the songs together on a physical album. Not only does this make more sense from a “bang for the buck” standpoint, but it also allows me to focus on 5 or 6 songs at a time.
The painter Henri Matisse said “Creativity takes courage”, and concur. But I also take comfort in the words of the late great Bob Ross: “We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents”.